Have you ever invested a lot of effort into making a change in your life, only for something to happen and you feel like you’re back at the beginning?
It’s frustrating, isn’t it?
I want to assure you that it’s not because you lack discipline or willpower. There’s more to it… really.
If you’ve been struggling with making change stick, it’s likely you’ve only been addressing the most visible layers. It’s ok, we all do until we learn how lasting change really happens.
The problem with surface-level changes
When things aren’t working, we tend to focus on what's right in front of us: our environment, behaviours, or the skills we think we need to make change.
It makes sense because these are the most visible and feel like the easiest things to change. But they are just the tip of the iceberg.
Think of it like rearranging furniture in a cluttered room. Sure, it might look better for a moment, but if you don't clear out the stuff that's really taking up space, the room will still feel cramped. The same goes for making changes in life.
Robert Dilts’ 6 Neurological Levels model helps us understand why deeper work is necessary. And in fact, we spread it out even further into 7 levels!
When you only focus on what’s visible, your surroundings or daily habits, you’re not getting to the root of the issue.
Lasting transformation happens when you dig deeper into what truly drives you: your beliefs, values, identity and purpose. These layers shape how you think and act and addressing them is key to meaningful change.
So, if you feel stuck despite your efforts, it’s not about a lack of willpower or discipline. It’s about going deeper to find what’s really holding you back.
Understanding the first three levels
1. Environment: This includes your surroundings (where you live, work and where you spend your time), the people around you, and your daily routines. While improving your space or spending time with positive people can help, it’s not the whole story.
2. Behaviours: These are your actions and habits. Maybe you’ve tried going to the gym more often or being more patient. But without understanding what drives your actions, behaviours can revert when life gets tough.
3. Skills and capabilities: Learning new skills or techniques, like better communication, is essential, but focusing solely on these won’t lead to deeper transformation. You may feel equipped but still lack the deeper connection or fulfilment you seek.
Why going deeper matters
Addressing these three levels is important, but if you stop there, you’re only working on the surface, and you will revert to old behaviours at some point.
Actual, lasting change requires deeper exploration into your beliefs, values, identity, and purpose. These layers are often where self-sabotage and unresolved conflicts reside, holding you back from real progress.
Three tips to help you start digging deeper
1. Go beyond the surface: The first three levels, environment, behaviours, and skills, are essential but are just the beginning. Be prepared to go beyond them to reach more profound insights.
2. Reflect and prepare for deeper work: Get curious about what else might be influencing your behaviour. Ask questions… lots of questions!
3. Do the deeper work: Go beyond the visible and obvious and explore the layers of your beliefs, values, identity, and purpose.
Meaningful change requires more than surface-level adjustments. It’s about digging deeper to explore the underlying levels that shape your life. It’s the only way you’ll make the change you’ve been looking for, rather than continuously going back to the beginning.
Check out Episode 8 of The Brain Changers Podcast where we talk about why all your hard work to change yourself, create new habits and stop old ones, often doesn’t work and still leaves you feeling stuck.
#LastingChange #NeuroLinguisticProgramming #PersonalDevelopment #MindsetShift #SelfGrowth #IdentityTransformation #ChangeYourLife #TheBrainChanger
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