Why You Always Assume the Worst (and how to stop it)

Have you ever found yourself spiraling after a delayed text reply or a curt email?

You have no actual evidence, yet your brain jumps to, “They’re mad at me," and you assume the worst.

This is a common reaction. When you eventually come down off that cliff, you may think you’re overreacting. In fact, you are catastrophising.

But there’s a reason… and better yet, there’s a way to change it.

Firstly, let’s break down why you catastrophise… and the first step to interrupting that pattern.

Are you catastrophising?

Why Your Brain Catastrophises

That voice in your head that prepares you for the worst is actually your survival brain. It may seem like it's trying to ruin your day, but it's just trying to protect you.

Sadly, your brain isn’t wired to keep you happy (wouldn't that be nice?) But it is wired to keep you safe. Which means when something feels uncertain, it fills in the blanks with what it knows best: worst-case scenarios.

What that looks like is this:

Unanswered text? "They’re ghosting me."

Quieter-than-usual tone? "I must have done something."

Logically, you know it’s probably not true. So why does it happen?

Because these reactions are based on outdated information in your brain… “Old software” if you like. They're responses your brain learned long ago to help you feel safe, even if they don’t benefit you now.

The Pattern Behind the Panic

Think of your unconscious mind as a massive library where everything you’ve ever experienced is a book on the shelf. When something triggers a familiar feeling, like rejection, fear, or uncertainty, it scans the shelves and pulls an old ‘book’ that feels similar. For example, a memory from school or an unresolved moment from years ago.

Your brain goes, “Ah. I know this one. Last time this happened, it hurt. Let’s prepare for that (most likely by avoiding it).”

Except it’s not the same. It just feels the same. And because your brain loves familiarity more than it cares about being right, it keeps choosing the same outdated story.

Why Those Thoughts Feel So Real

It’s not about logic, it’s about emotion. If you feel rejected, the thought “I am being rejected” feels true, even when it’s not.

Your brain wants certainty - even painful certainty - because it feels safer than not knowing.

What to Do Instead

Next time you feel that dread spiral starting, ask, “What else could be true?”

This simple question disrupts the autopilot in your mind and invites your brain to consider new possibilities.

Even if you don’t believe the alternative at first, loosening the grip on that first though can stop the spiral, and is how you start creating a new pattern.

The goal isn’t to eliminate negative thoughts altogether – that’s unlikely to happen for any of us! The goal is to stop treating every thought you have, as fact.

Take It Further

If this resonates and you’ve had enough of letting your thoughts control you, grab the free PDF guide below.

It’s your next step to breaking the doom-loop and retraining your thinking.

👉 [Download the PDF here]