Emotional Freedom Isn’t a Fluke: How to Master Your State on Purpose

Some days you feel calm, clear, and steady. Other days, it’s like your emotions hijack the controls. One minute you’re fine, the next you’ve snapped at someone, gone blank in a meeting, or found yourself crying over something small.

For a long time, I thought that was just how life worked… some days I had it together, some days I didn’t.

But an emotionally free state isn’t random. It’s a skill you can learn.

What do we mean by “state”?

Your state is simply the combination of what your body is doing, what you’re focusing on, and the meaning you’re giving the moment.

Imagine walking into a presentation. If you’re standing tall, breathing steadily, and telling yourself, “I know my stuff,” your voice carries confidence and people listen. But if you walk in hunched, shallow breathing, whispering in your head, “Don’t mess this up,” you’re more likely to hesitate, stumble, or second-guess yourself.

Same skills. Same person. Totally different outcomes.

That’s state at work.

The neuroscience behind state

This isn’t about positive thinking. It’s about how your brain and body respond in real time.

When your amygdala - the brain’s alarm system - senses threat, it floods you with cortisol and adrenaline. Great if you need to run from danger, not so great if you’re just trying to speak up in a meeting. That’s when your prefrontal cortex (the part that helps you plan and make decisions) goes offline, and suddenly you’re reacting on autopilot.

Your hippocampus also plays a role by tagging memories with emotion. That’s why a small trigger today can stir up feelings from years ago.

And your vagus nerve - running through your whole body - is like the brake pedal for your nervous system. Slow breathing, grounding posture, or even humming can activate it, signalling safety and helping you settle.

This is why emotional mastery is really nervous system mastery. If you can influence your state, you can influence your behaviour.

Anchors: the shortcuts your brain uses

Your brain loves to create shortcuts by wiring emotions to cues... what we call 'anchoring', NLP.

Think of a song that instantly takes you back to a teenage memory, or a smell that reminds you of your grandmother’s kitchen. That’s your amygdala and hippocampus linking emotion with sensory input.

Most of your anchors were set by accident. But you can create them on purpose. In coaching, we help clients set anchors that connect them to confidence, calm, or focus, so they can recall those states in a heartbeat. Imagine being able to shift from anxiety to calm with a single breath, gesture, or word. That’s the power of intentional anchoring.

Practical resets you can use right now

You don’t need to wait until you’re overwhelmed to practise. Small daily resets build the muscle so you’re ready when stress hits.

Here are four you can try today:

✅ Breath reset: Slow down. Try four seconds in, six seconds out.

✅ Physiology shift: Roll your shoulders back, stand tall, look up.

✅ Focus change: Ask a better question. Swap “Why me?” for “What’s one step I can take right now, to change the situation?”

✅ Language upgrade: Notice your words. “I’m shattered” creates a different state than “I’m a little tired.”

Do these consistently and you’ll notice you don’t get hijacked as easily.

Daily calibration: your emotional reset button

Mastering your state isn’t about pretending you’re fine when you’re not. It’s about learning how to steer your nervous system back into alignment. With practice, this becomes a daily calibration, like updating your brain’s software so you start each day centred, clear, and ready.

Emotional freedom isn’t a fluke. It’s the outcome of consistent, intentional practice. And once you learn how to master your state, you stop being at the mercy of circumstance and start showing up as the person you choose to be.

If you’d like to hear the full conversation with Rebekah and Yvonne, listen to Episode 39 of The Brain Changers™ Podcast wherever you get your podcasts.

#TheBrainChangers #EmotionalFreedom #MindsetCoaching #Neuroplasticity #PersonalGrowth #NLP #MoonbeamMonday #ResilientLeadership #ConfidenceCoach #StressManagement #RebekahKing #FemaleSpeakerAdelaide #StateofMind

Rebekah King - The Brain Changer

Hi. I'm Rebekah. 

I work with clever, capable professionals who feel mentally overloaded and can’t switch off... even when they try. Using neuroscience-backed brain training, I help you clear your head, build confidence, and perform at your best - without burning out.

🔗 Want to know more? Book a no-obligation Clarity Call with me today to find out how I can support you. No pressure, just a matter-of-fact conversation https://bit.ly/ConnectWithRebekah