How top leaders use their inner dialogue to drive performance and clarity

It’s easy to assume that high-performing leaders were simply born confident. But these same leaders know that success isn’t just a matter of strategy or to-do lists. In reality, their edge often comes from the conversations they have with themselves.

Every morning, your inner dialogue (that seemingly relentless voice inside your head) sets the filter through which your brain views the day. Small shifts in language can prime your mind for clarity, resilience and decisive action. And this isn’t about fluffy mindset ‘hacks’, it’s all backed by neuroscience.

Words have power!

Language, Neural Pathways and the RAS

Flashback to the days you used to go clubbing, when a bouncer decided who got in and who was left on the pavement. Well, your Reticular Activating System (RAS) works the same way. It’s your brain’s VIP bouncer, only letting in signals that you’ve told it, matter.

• Default scripts: Most of us are running on autopilot, which means many of the things we say are based on the conditioning we’ve received throughout life. Phrases such as “I’m too busy, I don’t have time” or “I can’t delegate, I have to do it myself.” Every time you repeat these, you reinforce the very neural pathways that make you notice more evidence of being overwhelmed.

  
  

• Designed scripts: The good news is, it’s simpler than you might realise to change the way you think, and therefore feel. Begin by swapping in a statement like “I’m refining my priorities,” and you train your RAS to spotlight progress and solutions instead of stress.

Shifting From Overwhelm to Opportunity with The Ladder Activity

High-stakes deadlines, packed schedules and demanding teams can be part of the leadership gig. The Ladder Activity offers a straightforward way to reframe your self-talk, rung by rung.

Here’s how it works:

Imagine the first rung of your ladder is the old script you’ve been running for years. It pops out without thinking, doesn’t feel great, and yet you barely notice its impact. Trying to leap straight to an ideal script feels unrealistic… your brain will see it as too big a jump and revert to old habits (think new year’s resolutions that fizzle out). Instead, make a small tweak: move one rung up at a time until you reach your preferred mindset. It may take three rungs, perhaps five, but each step builds momentum.

Here’s an example:

Rung	Old Script	Next-Level Script
1	“I’m swamped.”	“I’m noticing the busiest items first.”
2	(once 1 feels believable)	“I’m prioritising the highest-impact tasks.”
3	(after practising 2)	“I’m orchestrating my day for maximum impact.”

1. Start at rung 1: Say “I’m noticing the busiest items first.” It’s essentially admitting the chaos, but with the fun twist that you’re now the observer, not the overwhelmed.

   
   

2. Climb to rung 2: Once Rung 1 doesn’t make you wince, upgrade to “I’m prioritising the highest-impact tasks.” Your RAS now zeroes in on where the real leverage is.

   
   

3. Reach rung 3: Finally, step up to “I’m orchestrating my day for maximum impact.” By this point you’ve trained your brain to look for ways to conduct your schedule like a maestro, rather than drowning in it.

If you catch yourself at Rung 0 (“Help!”), you’re doing it right, because noticing is the first step to changing.

A Four-Step Professional Reframe Practice

To embed your new scripts, turn this into a daily ritual:

1. Capture your language

   Over three working days, jot down every time you hear yourself using a stress-trigger phrase. (Yes, even the ones you mutter under your breath.)

   
   

2. Select one to retire

   Pick the phrase that most often precedes feelings of overwhelm or indecision. Bonus points if it rhymes (though I can’t promise that helps the RAS… it just makes it more fun :).

   
   

3. Craft a next-level statement

   Use forward-leaning, believable language. Think of it as coaching yourself… what would your mentor say? For example, transform “I can’t keep up” into “I’m orchestrating my priorities.”

   
   

4. Embed with ritual

   At the start of your day and again at your midday break (yes, this means you must take a lunch break!), say your new statement aloud. Keep a one-line journal of when you noticed your brain surfacing a solution instead of tension.

Why This Matters for Leaders

• You'll have sharper focus: Your RAS will flag priorities and filter out low-value distractions.

  
  

• You develop greater resilience: Celebrating small wins fuels confidence when facing tough challenges.

  
  

• You create stronger influence: Clear, grounded self-talk projects calm authority, which your team will pick up on, and likely emulate. It’s ‘The Ripple Effect’ in motion.

So, What Now?

As you gear up for your first meeting tomorrow, catch one old phrase and swap in your new statement. Notice how that simple swap shifts the conversation, and maybe even the agenda.

Share your experience with me through a comment here, or DM me through my socials.  I’d love to hear how this simple swap has changed the way you think, and feel. You could even forward this post to a colleague who could use a little brain rewiring.

About Rebekah King

Want to lead with clarity, confidence and impact? I speak, coach and partner with leaders across Australia to reframe their self-talk, sharpen focus and boost performance without burnout.

🎤 Speaker | 🧠 Executive Coach | 💼 Executive Workplace Trainer | 🎧Podcaster

📩 DM me or visit www.moonbeammonday.com.au 

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