Are your friends helping you heal, or keeping you stuck?
- Rebekah King

- Oct 17
- 2 min read
Some conversations seem to lighten the load. Others appear to make it heavier.
It seems perfectly natural to want to talk to your friends about what's going on, or even have a 'vent' after a bad day. And you're right. But when it becomes a regular occurrence, it can begin to rewire your brain in a way you may not realised.
So, if you’ve ever walked away from a coffee catch-up or late-night phone call feeling more drained than when you arrived, you’ve experienced the hidden cost of talking about your problems.
What you may not know is that your brain doesn’t distinguish between experiencing something painful and retelling it. Every time you rehash a story of betrayal, stress, or heartbreak, your brain fires the same neural pathways.
Put simply, what you repeat, you reinforce.
That’s why venting circles (think… a group of your besties sitting around complaining about life, talking about how ‘busy’ they are and how hard life is) - though comforting at first - can trap us in loops of stress. Because that advice you're receiving from friends often reflects their values and beliefs more than what’s actually right for you.

So what’s the alternative?
✅ Accountability partners who keep you future-focused (not stuck in comparison or struggle).
We’ve often seen accountability partnerships in workplaces or business settings, but why not in life? After all, we all have life goals too. The right partner keeps you moving forward, not circling the same story.
✅ Boundaries that stop others from pulling you back into old stories.
When your bestie asks (again), “How are you coping since the split?” it’s okay to respond, “Actually, I’ve made the decision to move forward, so I’d prefer not to talk about it.” That’s not rude, that’s putting your wellbeing first.
✅ Coaching that recalibrates your brain like updating an operating system, giving you clarity, energy, and confidence that lasts.
You update your phone when it tells you to, so your apps run smoothly. Why wouldn’t you do the same for your brain? Coaching provides an opportunity to let go of what's keeping you stuck and instead, look forward to what you want instead.
If you’ve been feeling a little off, despite asking your friends for advice, this episode of The Brain Changers™ Podcast will show you what’s really going on — and how to change it.
🎧 Listen to the full episode here: https://www.moonbeammonday.com.au/podcast/episode/2c105432/ep-35-or-are-your-friends-helping-you-heal-or-keeping-you-stuck




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