What I've Learned About Goals (and My Own Brain)

If we know what to do, why don't we always do it?

It's a question I've been asking myself over the past few weeks.

The first two weeks of challenges came easy to me. I knew exactly what I wanted to do and why. Sure, there were a few days where I nearly fell asleep through lack of caffeine, or didn't want to get out of bed to walk in the cold, but that was easily overcome.

Week three was different.

I didn't decide until Tuesday what my challenge would be. I kept it up for five days but then let it slide. Why? Because I didn't make a specific plan for it. I didn't set a time, and I didn't think hard enough about why I wanted to do it. I basically chose it because it was on my list.

The result was that I didn't complete the challenge.

By week four, the no coffee and daily walks had stuck but yet again, I hadn't chosen a new challenge for that week either.

Part of me is telling myself that it's too much… I've already added (or subtracted) two things from my daily routine, I don't have any room for anything else. But frankly, that's BS.

My brain had done exactly what brains are designed to do… fallen into default mode.

One of the brain's primary jobs is to conserve energy and reduce uncertainty. Familiar routines require very little conscious effort because they've become efficient. Starting something new, even something you genuinely enjoy, asks the brain to make more decisions, pay more attention and spend more energy. Left to its own devices, it will almost always choose what already feels familiar.

And that's exactly what mine did.

Because when I looked honestly at my list - 10 minutes of quiet time, an infrared sauna, reading 10 pages of my book - none of those things were difficult or took very long. In fact, they're all things I enjoy.

The missing piece wasn't motivation.

It was the absence of a decision.

Without deciding what I was doing, why I was doing it and when I was doing it, the week simply carried on without it.

That made me realise something else.

We often confuse behaviour with identity.

When we don't follow through, it's easy to think, “I'm hopeless at sticking to things,” or, “Maybe I'm just not disciplined enough.”

But behaviour tells us very little about who we are. It leaves clues about what happened.

In my case, the clue wasn't that I lacked commitment. It was that I hadn't created the conditions that made commitment likely.

That's a very different conclusion.

I wanted to share this because I know how disheartening it can feel when you've invested time, money and energy into changing, only to feel like you've slipped backwards.

Every one of my clients has said some version of this to me.

"Beck, something happened and I feel like I'm back where I started."

"I don't think I've done it properly."

"Maybe I'm different from everyone else."

They're not.

We're all human.

The question has never been whether we'll drift back towards familiar patterns. Our brains are remarkably good at doing exactly that.

The more useful question is, "What do we do next?"

Think about an athlete.

They train for months, years even, with a coach beside them the whole way. Then one race doesn't go as planned. Perhaps they didn't sleep well or they were fighting off a virus. Perhaps they simply had an off day.

They don't decide they were never an athlete.

They become curious.

They review what happened, make adjustments and prepare for the next race.

I think we owe ourselves that same curiosity.

So that's exactly what I did.

I let go of weeks three and four and started again with week five. This time I gave myself the space to think about what I wanted my next challenge to be, why it mattered and exactly how I was going to make it happen.

This week, it's journalling (that's me doing it today).

I'll share next week about why I chose it.

For now, I'm simply staying curious.

Because this little experiment was never really about coffee, walking or journalling.

It's about understanding my own behaviour.

Every week leaves clues. The more curious I become about those clues, the more I understand what creates lasting change.

The interesting thing about understanding ourselves is that one insight usually leads to another.

If you’d like to continue exploring, I invite you to join me for my 5-Days to Clarity Challenge.

Over five short online sessions, we'll explore why capable, intelligent people can still find themselves caught in patterns they no longer want, and what changes when those patterns finally begin to make sense.

You'll experience my Mind Reset Method™ and leave with a clearer understanding of the thinking that's been shaping your behaviour, and the practical steps that create lasting change.

It's completely FREE, and it's a great way for us to get to know each other. Book a quick 10-min call here, to find out if it's the right fit for you