Do you ever feel like something is missing from your life? Maybe you think, “compared with others, I have an amazing life and nothing to complain about.” But you still feel unfulfilled.
This was me a few years ago. From the outside in, my life was ‘good’. I appeared confident, I lived in a nice house, I drove a nice car, I went on holidays, I had a good job.
I had everything I needed.
But inside, my life felt like a mess. I was filled with confusion and turmoil.
Then, I learned the secret that turned my life around. It sounds cliché, I know. But it’s true.
I discovered that ‘thoughts become things’
I learned how to retrain my brain of destructive thoughts
I mastered how to control my thoughts
But more-so, I erased my old obsessive and compulsive negative thought patterns.
I noticed an immediate difference. You don’t have to be a Buddhist Monk or an academic genius to master your mind, anyone can do this!
Here are 6 tips to help you find fulfilment in your life.
1. Take the first step
How often have you avoided doing something because you're 'not ready yet'? As humans, we are designed to stay comfortable and safe... to avoid risks. Waiting to be ready is a sign that you are waiting for external validation.
Taking the first step can be hard. But readiness is internal. Only you can make yourself ready.
Making the decision to be ready, is taking the first step. It means that in one month's time, you'll be thanking yourself rather than wishing you started earlier. So, is today one day or day one? You decide.
2. Compare where you started to where you are now
Have you ever heard someone say "A journey of 1,000 miles starts with a single step"? When we set out to transform our life, we often want to see a big impact straight away. And we want other people to see how we've changed, too. When we don't see immediate change, we can feel frustrated, which is often when we give up.
Remember, small steps lead to big impact. What you can do instead is take a moment to reflect on where you started compared with where you are now. Chances are, you will have made progress. Congratulate yourself! Other people may not have seen it yet, but it doesn't mean it isn't real.
Take time to honour the work you've put in and the steps you have already taken on your journey of transformation. You deserve it. And keep going…
3. Use your spare time wisely
Most people don't know what to do with their spare time. I know it can be hard to find the time and energy to do anything over and above work, family and chores. I used to try new things ALL the time! A few years back I did photography classes, belly dancing, Italian, cooking, singing… as well as volunteering for various charities. But I gradually stopped trying new things. I’d tell myself “I don’t have time,” “I can’t afford it” or “I’m too tired.”
Gradually, I became very introverted, not wanting to ‘do’ anything unless someone did it with me. And when I gave up trying new things and meeting new people, I became a bit of a recluse and my depression increased. I had to make a change. I reframed the way I think about things.
“I don’t have time” became “I choose to make time for the things that fulfil me."
“I’m too tired” became "This activity will give me energy!"
“I can’t afford this” became “Can I afford NOT to do this? If I don't do this, how will it impact my life?"
If you resonate with any of this and you're looking for a little push, my advice is to list activities you enjoy and make a commitment to start making enquiries. If time is the enemy, look at how you can redistribute your time by eliminating something that isn't enriching your life (think scrolling social media, for one!)
4. Change the way you think about yourself
If you constantly hear negative comments in your head about yourself, it's time to change the way you think about yourself. And you do have the power to change these thoughts. No one else can do it.
Start by making one small change per day, or even one a week. When you catch yourself looking in the mirror and saying "Urgh. I look fat in this outfit," stop and give yourself a compliment. There will be at least one once thing to say about yourself.
When you hear yourself innocently saying "Urgh, don't be so stupid," stop and remind yourself how intelligent, adaptable and capable you are, because I bet you are, aren't you?
And embrace the privilege of ageing. When your time is up, I bet you won't say "I wish I'd been skinnier/smarter/richer/had less wrinkles." It's more likely that you'll say "I wish I'd been kinder to myself."
Remember, positive thinking alone doesn't help you solve problems. However, creating a more fulfilling life begins with changing the way you think.
"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." - Buddha
5. Practice self-love
Self-love is not just regular massages, pedicures and meeting friends for coffee and cake (or wine!). It is about having a high regard for your own wellbeing and happiness.
It means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your wellbeing to please others. It means not settling for less than you deserve.
I haven’t always been great at self-love but in my early forties, with plenty of self-hatred behind me, I decided enough was enough. I decided that it was time to treat myself well!
I eat nutritious food and enjoy it.
I don’t drink much alcohol because I just feel better when I don’t (and I still have just as much fun, if not more).
I move my body regularly, so I feel fit and flexible.
I value myself enough to say ‘no’ when something doesn’t feel right.
I trust myself and the decisions I make.
I disconnect when I need to.
Self-love means accepting yourself in this moment, including things you may have said or done in the past. Be kind to yourself.
6. Know your purpose
Knowing your purpose is key in your decision making. Understanding what you value most in life is vital to understanding why you make the decisions you do. When you know what your values are, you're better equipped to determine your purpose in life.
After all, if you don't know what long-term goal you're aiming for, how do you know what short-term goals you need to set? What decisions have you made recently that don't align with your future goals? How much is it going to cost you if you don't change?
Perhaps you want to trek the Kokoda Track, but you haven't used your gym membership in over a year.
Maybe you want to lose weight but won't change the way you eat.
Perhaps you're tired of feeling stressed and anxious but you aren't making the time to practice meditation because you're 'not good at it'.
Whatever your goal is, consider the future cost of your current decisions and make adjustments accordingly. Everything you do each day should be aligned with your purpose.
Everyone deserves to live a fulfilling life and it starts with a small step today.
If you need support in getting unstuck, eliminating anxiety and finding fulfilment in your life, join us for Mindshift Mastery where you will learn how to retrain your brain and find inspiration with 3 powerful tools.
When you attend Mindshift Mastery and Master your Mind, you will be taking your first step to:
Take control of your emotions
See your future with a positive outlook
Have the energy to do the things you've always wanted to do
Develop deeper connections with loved ones
Achieve success in any area of your life
Wednesday 12 October 2022 | 6pm - 8.30pm | Sophia Centre, Cumberland Park
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